Twelve Days ficlets, day five

[rumpelsnorcack]

Title: Five Big Fat Pigs
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 500
A/N: Yeah, big fat pigs ... pretty self-explanatory really.

 

'But I thought you wanted pork for Christmas Dinner this year,' Amy said as she wrestled with the large carcass in the TARDIS's kitchen. 

'I do,' said Rory.  'I wasn't aware that would involve five of them ... or that most would be alive when we got them.'  He stared with distaste at the four pigs that Amy had allowed to roam through the kitchen.  They were snuffling around the pantry and the noise was a little overwhelming, what with the way their hooves scuttled on the wooden floor the TARDIS had inexplicably chosen, and the various grunts as they found food scraps to eat.

'Oh, those ones aren't for eating,' Amy said.  'Those are my new babies.'

'Babies?' Rory asked.  There was a tinge of hope in his voice.  His attention snapped back towards Amy, but he was careful to cover his hope with a casual tone.  'Why exactly do we need four pig babies?'

Amy shrugged.  'Why not?  They're cute and they needed somewhere to stay.'

Rory gave up.  It looked like he was now the proud owner of four pigs, along with his Christmas roast.

Several days later, he wished he'd put more effort into resisting the mad idea.  Both Amy and the Doctor had adopted the pigs (really big, really intrusive pigs, Rory always noted) and they were firmly entrenched as part of the TARDIS's cohort of passengers.  It was like everywhere he went he tripped over another one; sometimes he even thought they must have multiplied in the night. 

All thought of producing real babies fled before the onslaught of the pigs' sleeping habits.  Amy's favourite, a black and pink one with soulful eyes and a hangdog expression, had been allowed to sleep in their quarters.  Somehow Rory couldn't handle even looking at Amy when the pig hung its head over the side of the bed and stared at him. 

He was relieved, but a little puzzled, when a few weeks later the pigs disappeared.  When he asked Amy where they had gone, she just shrugged.

'Got bored of them.  They were a bit noisy and ... grunty.'

Feeling irrationally upset, Rory went looking for the Doctor.

'I don't get it,' he said.  'Those were her babies, and she just dumped them.  What if we have a real baby and she gets bored of looking after a kid one day?'

'Won't happen,' said the Doctor, fiddling with some sort of lever on the TARDIS console.

'How can you be sure?'  Rory asked.  'She was so in love with those pigs ...'

'Won't happen,' said the Doctor, 'because a real baby is a different thing.  Besides, with a real baby you'll be there looking after it too, not glowering at it as a nuisance.'

Rory blushed.  'But ...'

'No buts!' the Doctor insisted.  'Anyway, it was her experiment to see how she'd cope with a baby.  I suggest you talk to her about this.'

He watched in amusement as Rory's face lit up and he sprinted off towards their quarters.

Comments

[promethia_tenk]

Somehow Rory couldn't handle even looking at Amy when the pig hung its head over the side of the bed and stared at him.

OMG. <333333

I love this. Touching and funny.

[rumpelsnorcack.livejournal.com]

Thank you. This was one of my favourites to write :D

[honeynoir.livejournal.com]

Ohh, I love the serious undertone! And this line: It was like everywhere he went he tripped over another one; sometimes he even thought they must have multiplied in the night. :)

[rumpelsnorcack.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I wasn't sure how that would work so I'm glad you liked it :)