Ginny Potter and the Boy Who Lived, chapter 7

[rumpelsnorcack]

Title: Ginny Potter and The Boy Who Lived, Chapter Five
Characters/Pairing: Harry/Ginny
Word Count: 3,339
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst, General
Summary: Sequel to Ginny Weasley and The Boy Who Lived, detailing her life after the battle and up to the epilogue.
A/N: As always I had lots of help and support on this. lorelaisquared is seriously the best writing companion a girl could want, and whirl_gig and her love for detail is a massive inspiration.  Thanks to both you ladies, you are the best friends a person could want.

 

7.  NEWTs and Quidditch

My floo discussions with Harry were as numerous as ever, but they were as always frustratingly void of any depth.  We talked about my lessons and my quidditch training, his auror training and his frequent interactions with little Teddy and Andromeda, but it was hard to really get to know someone over the floo.  Your knees get sore if you’re there for too long, and at Hogwarts there were always people around casting glares in my direction.  Besides, as I’ve said many times before, Harry isn’t the most open of people, and he wasn’t going to spill his deepest dreams and fears to me when he was in my parents’ kitchen and I was in a room that was shared by so many other people.

 

Around April, however, Hermione started hinting broadly that I needed to get off the floo more and do some study.  I saw the sense of that idea, myself.  Not because of the study, but because the big quidditch scouts still hadn’t turned up and I was getting nervous about making the grade to go on professionally.  I realised that studying for my NEWTs was important too, but while I did some it wasn’t my focus that year.

 

 While Harry was disappointed that I couldn’t stay up as late talking, he knew what quidditch meant to me.   Besides, his classes had gone from theory (which he had been pushed through rather faster than most because of his experiences and the need to get as many Aurors as they could out into the field in the aftermath of the battle) to practical field training missions.  Every time he went on one, I was always restless and stressed until I had heard from him again.  The memory of his body, cold and limp at Voldemort’s feet, was my constant companion and I was never sure he’d be fine until I saw his head in the flames and could breathe again.  It worried me that I felt this way, since I knew that if things stayed the same between us then someday in the future we would hopefully get married and he would be on these incredibly dangerous missions all the time.  I didn’t know if I could live with that sort of stress for the rest of his working life.

 

Ron had made it clear to Harry and Kingsley (as an aside, I have to say it’s been very hard to be properly respectful to a Minister for Magic who I have seen looking dozy at the breakfast table on many a morning in the Grimauld Place days) that he was only helping George out with Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes until he was back on his feet emotionally, though he never let that on to George.  When we all thought George was ready to be alone with the shop, Ron intended to become an Auror too.  George was getting better, but his pranks were still not the masterpieces they had been in the past, and his smiles still didn’t reach his eyes.  Ron had also been approached by Kingsley the day Harry had agreed to join, and Kingsley had promised him a spot whenever he wished to take it up.  This meant that Hermione would soon have all the same worries that I did, so I figured she might understand if I approached her with my problem.

 

I sat down next to her one day once she had stopped frowning at the page of notes she was poring over, and handed her a butterbeer I had kept stashed from one of our Hogsmeade visits.

 

‘Thanks,’ she sighed, leaning back in her chair and relaxing a little.  ‘What’s this for, though?  You only break out the butterbeer when you’re worried about something.’

 

‘It’s just, I feel like I’m going nuts.’  I gave a big dramatic sigh, then smiled as the echo of my past self rose in the air.  Oh, the amount of times I had sat in this very room and sighed out similar words to Colin over Harry.

 

She laughed, and said, ‘well, that’s a good opening.  What are you nuts about, or do I even have to guess?’

 

I sobered immediately.  ‘It’s Harry.  Every time he goes on one of those stupid training missions I panic.  I feel ridiculously anxious until the moment I hear from him again.  If this is how it’s going to be forever, I don’t know if I can do it.’

 

Looking concerned she said, ‘have you talked to him about it?’

 

‘I can’t.  There’s always too many people around and I don’t want to look weak or clingy.’  I stopped and frowned at my drink as if could solve my problems.  ‘I just ... I see him dead that day over and over and I can’t stand knowing it could happen again.’  I felt shaky just thinking about it.

 

Hermione came and sat down on the couch next to me, and gave me a hug.    ‘I know.  I see it too sometimes.  It’s one of the memories that still eats at me in the middle of the night.  But ... he’s only gone for a few hours each time, right?’

 

‘Yes, but these are real situations, even though they are just training drills.  When it’s the real thing I may not hear from him for days.  Days of feeling this way would do my head in, I’m sure.’  I was frustrated at myself, angry that I couldn’t get past these emotions.  Annoyed at myself, I ran a hand through my hair as I looked beseechingly at Hermione.  ‘What would you do?’

 

‘Since Ron’s job isn’t particularly dangerous, if you discount the possibility of turning into a frog as George’s idea of a joke, I really can’t say I know what you’re going through.’

 

‘But, Ron is going to join the Aurors soon, right?  Doesn’t that freak you out?’

 

‘Not really, at least not at the moment.’

 

‘Maybe I’m just a freak then,’ I said sadly.

 

‘No you’re not; you’re just dealing with something none of the rest of us is.  You need to talk to Harry about this.’

 

‘I know, but unfortunately back when it would have been possible I didn’t know I felt this way.’

 

We talked about it a little more while the butterbeers grew warm on the table, but it all came back to having to talk, really talk, to Harry and I knew there were months stretching ahead of us before I’d even get that chance.

 

To take my mind off it, I concentrated my efforts on getting better at quidditch.  I pushed myself harder and faster and longer than ever before.  At the end of each practice session I was exhausted, but it kept me from worrying about Harry while I was up in the air.  By the time the final game of the year was to be played, I felt like I was ready for everything the other team could throw at me.  I also knew that this was the one the scouts must be at because they hadn’t showed up before.

 

Walking out to the pitch I was a bundle of nerves, but these were good nerves.  I knew that there was no way I could have done more, put in any more effort, to be any better than I was.  If I wasn’t selected, it was because I wasn’t meant to play quidditch.  As I kicked off from the ground, even those last minute nerves dissipated.  In the air, everything became clear.  Get the ball and put it through the hoop; that was all I had to do.  Life on a broom was so simple. 

 

The game itself was brutal.  We were playing Slytherin and they really wanted to win this cup again.  There was a lot of cobbing going on, and several fouls which were missed by the referee because the Slytherins were very careful only to foul us when the referee was looking the other way.  Our team had been playing so well together, and training so hard, however, that even the very physical way the Slytherins were choosing to mark us couldn’t affect the end result.   Hoarse with screaming, we got ourselves back to the ground and were swamped by what seemed to be every Gryffindor ever to pass through the doors of Hogwarts.

 

After getting away from our many admirers (some of whom tried to get a little frisky, presumably on the basis of my reputation as an ‘easy’ catch), I made my way to the locker rooms, ready for a good long shower before joining my Housemates in the common room for the party that had already started even before we left the pitch.  A few of the others were heading that way, but the majority of the team seemed to want to get upstairs and not worry about freshening up.  As we got to the edge of the crowd, I saw a heartstopping glint of glasses, and thought for one breath taking moment that Harry had managed to make it to the match, even though today was one of his training mission days.

 

I shook my head to clear it of those thoughts.  Harry was a long way from here, and me wanting so desperately to talk to him wasn’t going to bring him here.  I sighed and turned towards the lockers, and this time I really did see him.  He was lounging next to the changing room, with a smug grin on his face.  I could feel my own face stretch into a grin as I ran towards him.  In something of a recreation of the infamous day we got together, I grabbed him and we kissed until we were both out of breath.  Then I had a chance to really take in that he was here.

 

‘I’m not complaining, mind, but ... how come you’re here?  I thought you had one of those mission things.’  A slight frown crossed my face as I thought of it, but I don’t think he noticed.

 

‘Kingsley let me off.  It’s one we’ve done before and he said I didn’t need practice on it.’

 

‘What was it?’

 

‘Camping and protection spells.’

 

I snorted, understanding why Kingsley didn’t insist Harry should go to that particular training session.  He’d seen more than enough camping to last a lifetime, and really didn’t need the practice at casting those particular spells.

 

‘So, since family and friends were allowed to this game, I decided to come see you play.  You were amazing.’

 

I grinned at him.  ‘Thanks, I try.’

 

‘I mean it.’  His hand coiled in my hair and I smiled at him.  ‘You were good before, but that training’s done you wonders.  If they don’t select you after that, they’re completely mental.’

 

I could feel the smile slide off my face as I said, ‘I don’t think they were here, Harry.  I think they decided to miss us out this season.’

 

‘That seems odd,’ he frowned and I could almost the wheels turning in his mind.  ‘They’ve never missed before.  I wonder if they already have all the players they need.’

 

‘I hope not, but if so I’ll just have to keep practising and try out again next year.  Can you wait just five minutes while I take a shower?  I need to get out of this uniform.’

 

‘I could join you,’ he said hopefully, starting to head inside with me, but I pushed him away, laughing.

 

‘No you couldn’t.  Not with my teammates here; just wait, I won’t be long.’

 

When I came out, I asked if he wanted to go to the party in the common room, but he said he’d prefer to stay outside for a while.

 

We wandered around the grounds, and I knew I needed to talk to him about what had been bothering me, but it seemed such a shame to disrupt the peace and happiness of the day.  However, before long, he had figured out that something was wrong.  I couldn’t help it, every time he mentioned one of his missions I got quiet and restless.

 

‘What’s wrong, Ginny?  You’ve been tense ever since I got here.  Is it the scout thing?’  He had come to a halt when he asked me the question and there was genuine concern in his eyes as they searched mine, but I tugged on his hand urging him to keep moving.  I found it easier to talk if I had something else to do, and focusing on my feet meant I didn’t have to look at him while I told him my worries.

 

‘No, well not just them.  I feel silly feeling this way ...’ I stopped talking and looked at him, unsure how to start this and finally decided to just come out with it. I took a deep breath and said, ‘I worry about you when you’re out on those missions.’

 

I chanced a sideways glance up at him and he was looking confused and a little worried.  ‘It’s not that bad, really.  We just practice things we might need in the future in controlled situations.’

 

‘They’re not that controlled, and they could go wrong ...’ I trailed off as his look grew more concerned.  ‘Look, I know it’s irrational and I know it’s not that dangerous, and I know you’re quite capable, but I still worry and it’s driving me insane.’  I could see him about to protest again, and rushed on.  ‘I mean ... it won’t be practice forever ... and ... and ... you could get hurt again,’ I finished in a small voice thinking that I sounded stupid.  To my relief when I looked at him he wasn’t looking at me like I was an escaped mental patient, but the worry and confusion in his eyes was almost worse.

 

We came to the place we had always thought of as ‘ours,’ the place we had spent so many wonderful hours by the lake, and I pulled him down to sit with me.  Harry looked thoughtful and seemed on the verge of speech when we heard someone calling my name and our attention was dragged away from each other.  I sighed.  Once again, that talk wasn’t going to happen.  In a minute, Hermione came panting into view; she stopped when she saw who I was with, and tried to back away gracefully.  It was too late, however; the moment had been lost and I knew that I should go back to the castle with her.  Harry was due back to the Burrow for dinner and I really should go join that party, which was the reason Hermione had been hunting me.

 

Hermione and I walked him to the castle gates and watched as he apparated away before we headed back up to the common room to celebrate our victory.  For me it seemed hollow because of the scouts and my aborted talk with Harry, but that wasn’t the fault of my team mates, so I tried my best to enjoy myself.  It didn’t go well and I excused myself as soon as I could.

 

Fortunately, with NEWTs approaching so rapidly I had so much study to do that I had no time to dwell on my other problems.  The exams arrived far too fast for my liking and I found myself sweating in the Great Hall with everyone else.  Those taking their OWLs were doing theory in the mornings and their practicals in the afternoons.  We were the opposite, and after the physically more demanding practical, I often found it hard to concentrate during the theory exams.  Still, I thought I had done well enough to pass. 

 

Hermione, of course, was totally stressed, and she made sure everyone knew all about her study and how badly she was sure she had done.  We all rolled our eyes and ignored her.  It was common knowledge among everyone that she was going to beat us all, so no-one had much sympathy for her insecurities.  Luna was serene as usual; she just seemed to have drifted into the Hall and taken part without any actual impetus on her behalf, but she was also sure to have done well.  She always did.  Somehow her easy going attitude helped her and she never had any trouble with the coursework so in her mind the exams were just a way to share her knowledge with the examiners.  I wished I could have had the same attitude towards quidditch but whenever I thought about it and remembered the lack of scouts a worm of fear would twist at me and I never quite convinced myself to be philosophical about it.                                                                                                                              

 

Sooner than I had thought possible it was the Leaving Feast, and then I was facing my last night at school.  On one hand I was happy that it was over and I could be with Harry more or less every day, but on the other it seemed really sad that this was no longer to be my home.  Looking around the Great Hall at the teachers’ table and the chattering students at all the House tables, I was hit by a sudden bout of melancholy.  It was weird that I had spent the whole year in a flurry of desperation to get away from Hogwarts and back to Harry, and yet now I was struck by a desire to stay here, hold on just a little longer to this last vestige of childhood.  I hadn’t received a letter from any of the quidditch teams, even though I had secretly held out hope that one would still come, and I had no idea what else I wanted to do with my life.  When I left here next day I was going to be adrift and that was a scary thought.

 

Luna slid into the seat next to me and smiled cheerfully.

 

‘It’s a bit funny isn’t it? Leaving?’ I nodded, still feeling a little mopey and she added, ‘cheer up.  You get to start an exciting new life now.  I’m going to be going to the jungle in Malaysia.  Daddy’s heard of a rare plant there that cures wrackspurt infestations.  What about you guys?’

 

Hermione said, ‘I’m going to be going into Magical Law Enforcement.  I have a job as assistant junior secretary and they’ll train me on the job.  I’m quite excited actually.  I’ll be learning all sorts of new ways to help House Elves and other oppressed creatures.’  She frowned a little.  ‘That is, that’s what I’m doing so long as I get enough NEWTs to qualify.’

 

I giggled, knowing full well that there was no way Hermione would be failing any of her NEWTs.  ‘You’ll be fine, Hermione.  Me, I’m fancy free for now, not a care in the world and no idea what I’ll be doing either.’  I was putting a cheerful spin on my planless future for their benefit, but I wasn’t at all as positive as I made out.  Still, it was the last feast here so I shook off the negative thoughts and managed to enjoy myself. 

 

That night the castle was thronged with students moving between the common rooms hugging each other and swearing that we would never lose contact.  There was a party atmosphere which the teachers were in no mood to squash, so the visiting lasted well into the night.  In fact, I’m sure there were some who stayed awake until dawn.  The next morning we all left the castle for the last time by taking the little boats back across the lake.  When we had arrived here they all held four students each, but this time we all had to take one each.  It was a vivid reminder of how far we had come since that first day.  I took one last, lingering look at the castle that had been the scene of so many memories, both good and bad, and then turned and faced squarely towards the far bank.  It was time to look ahead and decide what I was going to do with my future.

Chapter 6  chapter 8